He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
