Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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