Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
