Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm like, not good at living.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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