I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
my mouth tastes like poor choices
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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