I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
