I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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