Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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