Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
