Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
