I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
is this the sara with the beer cane?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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