I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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