I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
