So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
