There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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