My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
