Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
