I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
did you just send me my own nude
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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