oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
