you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
