and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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