Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
