I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
