Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
