found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
