yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
