im having a threesome with these popsicles
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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