i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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