# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
