he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
