Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
