so explain again why im purple
no
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
