Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
