Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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