i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
