I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
