no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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