Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
