i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
