it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Randomize
