Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
