If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
