i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
