You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
