Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
