He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
