You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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