Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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