AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
