paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
