This girl is more easily done than said...
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
