He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
